Profitless usurer, why dost thou use

So great a sum of sums, yet canst not live?

Mike Mills:

WE HAVE NOT LEARNED ANYTHING,
WE DON’T KNOW ANYTHING,
WE DON’T HAVE ANYTHING,
WE DON’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING,
WE DON’T SELL ANYTHING,
WE DON’T HELP,
WE DON’T BETRAY,
AND WE WILL NOT FORGET.

Tough day on the eyes...blue, blue sky the whole time. I asked Lesley what happened to the whale songs she was listening to yesterday and she invited me to her corner of the office to eat lunch. She told me about a Halloween party I might go to if I was her age, a murder mystery Halloween party and she regretted her decision to come back home from Germany because that meant she was stuck in Olathe and she couldn't believe the waste. I bet her daughter is beautiful. Sometimes she reminds me of my mom so I go over there if I feel like I need something.

No one understands how to get kids to follow the rules and some boys in third grade thought black was a bad word "because black people and gangsters don't like it when you say it." Their favorite thing to say is "Poop stains."

Many shortcuts through the library to go to the bathroom.

June got upset when I tried to draw a rainbow in a corner of the paper instead of around her self portrait. Noah made me go to space jail at the tree and then at the fence and then next to the wall while the boys watched and I told them "I think Noah is trying to put me in jail again." Except, this time I told him there is always a key and there is always a way out like we were floating in the ocean, just about to go under a huge wave.

Saw Jerome in the hall and I told him I would meet him in the room. He had laid everyone's books out for them and was sitting at the table playing with the timer by the time I got in there. Journey was under the table and DeSean was hiding behind the bookcase. Mrs. Daniels told Journey to sit down and don't get up again. DeSean said they were trying to scare me for Halloween. His eyes looked red. I told him math was the first step to making a play station game and he said "Oh, is that why you teach this stuff?"

I woke up too early after passing out on the couch for at least an hour because when I came back to consciousness I was still sitting up and The Office was still playing. I had to rearrange my blankets while I was underneath them, in the dark; it was almost impossible.

There are these things I need to work on like not thinking all coffee was brewed especially for me and cleaning it up after I spill the hot liquid all over the counter. I need to stop thinking about balloons when my head gets so full during math meetings that I think I might scream or do something violent or write something really angry in my diary later.

We made posters with our Pride families about "No Bullying," and I see them all over the halls as I walk from class to class to the bathroom and there is that other poster I pass that the preschoolers made, of people who are feeling sad. My brother walks in to pick up the car while I'm doing yoga and drinks tea, but when I hear Savannah say "You know how to give a real hug" I get bored with yoga and trying to find inner peace.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo2bVbDtiX8

There's not much that is beautiful besides a boy sitting alone on a tree stump. A girl sits down next to him and so do I. He doesn't care. At this school the bus will not drive past rainbows or cows that chew waterproof grass, but boys will yell out "Vertical!" after I draw a line on the board. They tell me stickers aren't very fun and cry when they know their time is close to being over. I think sickness brings compassion. The sad, sad, sad, sad lunch room. The bathroom mirror. The custodians. The boy who catches crickets with his hands.

http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/photos/behind-the-scenes-with-jon-stewart-20110914/0476903

On His Disappointment with President Obama

"Obama ran on this idea that the system and the methodology are corrupt. It felt like the country was upset enough that he had the momentum needed to re-­evaluate how business is done. Instead, when he got elected, he acted as though the system is so entrenched that it has to be managed rather than – I don’t want to say decimated, because I’m not an anarchist or a nihilist. But I’m surprised at how much he deferred to the legislative process. He’s accomplished some things, and I’m sure he’s pleased with what he’s done, but I would have preferred to see something a little bit more transformative. They haven’t made the case that government can be effective, or accountable, or agile."

Read More

http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/photos/behind-the-scenes-with-jon-stewart-20110914/0476903

"He gave me assignments. He told me what I needed to read in order to be a poet. Secondly, the problem with my poetry was that I had fallen in love with William Butler Yeats: I thought he was the greatest poet --and still do-- of all time. The problem was, I was a 25 year old kid writing as if I was, you know, William Butler Yeats. [But] I didn't have the wealth of experience or depth of insight to pull it off. So [Allen Ginsberg] gave me assignments to write from I: What do you remember? What did you see? What was the color of the sky? Where were your hands when you thought this? What color dress was she wearing? Precise details. His idea was that I needed to learn how to become my own dictationist, to learn how to transcribe my own sense impressions. Third, he sensed that I had a reservoir of emotions that I had frozen. I had squelched them in many ways, I was afraid of exposing them. I tended to be a body that carried my brain from room to room--I dealt with everything intellectually. So he began by asking me questions that I could only answer from my heart. And by that experience of answering out of that place over and over again, the actual, literal experience of doing that is what gave me my self. He gave me the gift of myself."

Read More

http://www.naropa.edu/news/articles/elephant_fall2006_lres.pdf

i am so tired

if someone says pet peeve again i am going to collapse